Purity culture and parenting after deconstruction

Anybody else raised in purity culture? You know, no sex before marriage, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, purity rings, really awful metaphors about how premarital sex degrades girls' value, belief that girls' bodies cause boys and men to stumble, etc... (*raises hand*). If you were raised in 90s and early 2000s evangelical culture like I was, you know it's a whole lifestyle. And often, a cause of much shame and trauma*.

Writing a Book!

I began writing my spiritual memoir back in 2013, writing that now feels like the AOL / dial-up internet version of the book I am working on now. I have been transforming those memoir pieces into a book that examines fundamentalist evangelical Christianity and how it so frequently creates trauma in its adherents.

Review: “In the House of Friends”

In the House of Friends: Understand and Healing from Spiritual Abuse in the Christian Church. Cults, spiritual abuse, religious trauma. We might think of things that happen in books or only in extreme circumstances, but Ken Garrett presents a very cogent explanation of what it looks like when this shows up in churches and denominations … Continue reading Review: “In the House of Friends”

A new tagline; a clarified mission

this weekend I realized that the tagline I had for my blog is misleading. Not intentionally, of course, but rather because I thought it was what I was about - or what I was supposed to be about. My tagline was "thoughtful explorations of spirituality, psychology, and their intersections," as you may recall. After all, I'm a counselor, and I feel myself to be spiritually inclined and want to write about it. So that's what I do, right? Actually, no.

License to interpret: the Bible and same-sex relationships

It will be four years this June since the Supreme Court declared same-sex marriage legal in the United States. This post might feel a little behind the times given all the societal changes going on already. But as many of you know all too well, the church often drags its feet when it comes to change, coming kicking and screaming into relevance -- if it isn’t already too late when it gets there.

A relational and reflective new year resolution

What's coming alive to you? What is life-giving to you right now? What is challenging you, draining you or taking your life away? How is your purpose for the common good showing up? (What am I here for, what is my vocation, what gift do I have and how can I use it to help heal the community? Your gift is often where your wound was. How am I leaning into this and how am I running away from it?) Having heard what we've heard, how can we help each other? (whether practical or existential; economical or spiritual)